Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
