Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm lost and stupid without you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize