At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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