Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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