he shaved USA in his pubs
My cat gives me a boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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