It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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