I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
