he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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