My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
