I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
