i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
