I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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