Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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