Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
