Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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