wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon