I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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