We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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