I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
