"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
