Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Your dad touched me again.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
