But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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