Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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