I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
