so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just sent this text using only my big toe
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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