he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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