I CAN MOONWALK!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
