Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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