They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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