Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
