My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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