He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
