i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
