loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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