you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
