I think I won the penis lottery.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
