hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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