hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize