If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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