Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
