I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize