So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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