are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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