im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Moan for me like Helen Keller
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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