i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
