He uses pillows to masturbate.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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