when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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