I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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