Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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