Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
