Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
