Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
