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  • "I would be honored to take a dump on your chest."

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:34pm
  • well, 7:32, girls can always explain away taking forever in the bathroom. there are a bunch of excuses you could use... the smell, however, IS gonna sell you out lol.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:40pm
  • so....how are u gonna get rid of the smell? & being in there for so long?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:32pm
  • poops? as in plural?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:28pm
  • God forbid he caught your excretory system doing something abnormal and bizarre.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:22pm
  • 2:53, all girls do, duh.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 5, 09 at 5:35pm
  • sounds like a typical high schoolers friday night

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 11:34pm
  • us Chicago girls are probably among the classiest in the country. love it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:06pm
  • i figure if a dude can't handle the sound of me shitting then i can't handle having his dick in my mouth just sayin man

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:47pm
  • This post kinda puts me in the mood for a blumpkin

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:30pm
  • my daughter has a tendency to open the bathroom door when i'm "doing paperwork" so i don't have the luxury of trying to hide it.....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 11:18pm
  • i'm sure he appreciates your consideration

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 12:46am
  • I've heard of machine gun farts but never machine gun shits

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:22pm
  • lol.. thats really funny

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:24pm
  • it sounds great only if it splashes

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:02pm
  • I"m glad I am not the only one who has issues pooping in front of the opposite sex. But I just avoid it entirely if I can.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 10:48pm
  • hahaha together for like 4 years and I still can't poop unless the water is on... hha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 3:32am
  • Someone needs to read the kids book, "Everybody Poops."

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:56pm
  • ahhh. so clever. i'm very impressed.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 8:39am
  • So pretty much you just made my life!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 6:45pm
  • 4:40, that's the dumbest thing i've heard. you're giving yourself away by having multiple flushes AND making it seem way worse, like it's taking multiple flushes to go down!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:55pm
  • you my dear are a keeper

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:21pm
  • 8:06 Another proud Chicago girl!! 1:00am, I do the same thing! lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:36am
  • cuz that's not awkward

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:26pm
  • If you're taking that long then he is going to know you are pooping anyway., despite your clever attempts.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:02am
  • AHAHAHA I love the OP. Just want to give them a hug and grunt real loud while they're on the shitter. XD

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:27pm
  • you could always just turn the water on

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 8:20pm
  • 1:43; you have NO idea =P

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 9:06am
  • 1:00 am, I think we can all agree that we almost all do that too. Kudos for being the first brave person to put it in written form.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 3:44am
  • 2:53am... at least she was texting and not talking

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 3:25am
  • 521 - i'm pretty sure the other person knew, dumbass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 12:06am
  • does anyone not see the context clues? who texts their friend while shitting telling them about how they're shitting?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 2:53am
  • i'm so proud of you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:35am
  • hey, i dont see anything wrong with texting on the toilet, the other person never has to know...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 12, 09 at 5:21am
  • P|-|1R5T!!!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!!!!!1!!11

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 7:21pm
  • Lmao at 7:34 Not Another teen movie ftw

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:37pm
  • lol Chicago girls. I will laugh if I know her.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:37pm
  • i poop with the door open and my boyfriend laughs when i have diarea

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:09am
  • haha i do that at school...although it's not with video game sounds, obivously. it's with other toilets flushing, the sink running, or the super loud hand dryer going.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 1:00am
  • thank you for making me laugh at work, giving up the fact that i am clearly not working. :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 13, 09 at 12:35pm
  • what's wrong with that 7:17?? as long as you're still going and you didn't touch anything to wipe yet. that would be unsanitary.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 8:37am
  • 12:09 i'm totally with you. everyone poops, and when you're exchanging bodily fluids with the man, rubbing genitalia, it's time to get over yourself and open the doors...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 6:29am
  • lmfao, I refuse to shit at his house. even if he's not listening... it's just weird.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 10, 09 at 9:09pm
  • ...and you're texting on the shitter...classy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 7:17am
  • hm when i shit and i dont want someone to know, i just flush the toilet repeatedly so no one hears it and the smell goes away quickly!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 11, 09 at 4:40pm