gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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