girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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