So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
