Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
