I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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