So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
