So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
