We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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