I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
