If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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