she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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