no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
