Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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