we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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